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Archive for April, 2012

Don’t Be Blinded: Seeing Opportunity in Blind Spots

Posted in Coaching, Emotional Intelligence, Leadership, Learning, Self-Awareness, tagged , , , , on April 24, 2012 | 6 Comments »

It might be the fact that Mary jumps in to finish peoples’ sentences, or John has an incessant need to be right… Maybe David lacks follow-through or Sarah’s cutthroat mentality leaves her employees wounded. Blind spots. We all have them – those personality quirks (or full-on flaws) that are obvious to everyone but us. And, the truth is, when we discover them, they can be… well, blinding. It takes vulnerability to uncover them and courage to point them out to others.

In Fearless Leadership, Loretta Malandro says “most successful leaders are unaware of two things: (1) the impact of their blind spots on others and (2) the degree to which others work around them and avoid confronting the real issues.” Organizational potential gets strangled because of these blind spots.

And though the interpersonal outcomes of a leader’s blind spot can be weighty, the thing to remember is these behaviors are usually sub-conscious, resulting in unintended impacts. Where leaders do get into trouble is in:

  • Not getting curious about their blind spots
  • Ignoring them altogether
  • Thinking they are immune, and have none
  • Immediately dismissing feedback that highlights a potential blind spot.

Let’s get real… a blind spot isn’t a blind spot anymore if you know about it already but choose to ignore it… That’s just leadership carelessness. Even if the feedback shocks you beyond belief, take it as a cue to pause, take a deep breath, and look for the part that is true – even if it’s only 2%. The choice is yours. Once uncovered, a blind spot is information that can help you up your game – you can wallow in self-pity, or look for the opportunity (easier said than done, I know!). Just know you’re not alone. We all have them. And, if you think you don’t have any… think again. There’s your blind spot.

Some common leadership blind spots or pitfalls that I’ve come across (caveat: more often than not, these are not conscious, intended behaviors, but rather unconscious, unproductive habits):

  • Needing to be right: When you need to be right, someone needs to be wrong. This winner-loser mindset really is a no-win game.
  • Thinking you have all the answers: Being the go-to answer-guy is seductive, but the unintended impact of this blind spot is stifling others growth.
  • Quick to say No: Saying “No Way” or bringing a negative mindset to everything instead of exploring possibilities is a sure fire way of getting people to work around you. Let’s face it; no one likes a constant Debbie-Downer.
  • Not really listening: While you might be in the same room as someone, your mind wanders to other places or you re-direct the conversation back your way (a move I call the “Back To Me” (BTM)). The unintended impact? Others feel insignificant. (Read Mobilize Strategies great post on Listening).
  • Having an inflated sense of self: Leading from a place of ego leaves little to no room for learning. The impacts of this grandiose sense of self are that people may shut down and stop collaborating with you. Ego can break a team.
  • Being unaware of your impact: The mother-of-all blind spots, you’re either too “busy” to notice, unable to read others, or just don’t care how you’re impacting your colleagues. This blind spot leaves others thinking you’re cavalier and insensitive. Don’t be surprised if people start avoiding you.

If any of these strike a nerve or get you thinking… it may be time to explore what blind spots might be getting in your way.

e-musings leadership tips on uncovering blind spots:

  • Seek feedback often – the good, the bad and the ugly
  • When you learn about a blind spot, slow down, get curious and find the grain (or boulder!) of truth in it
  • If you notice a potential blind spot in a colleague, help to enable their success by:
    • Asking if they are open to hearing some feedback
    • Being as specific as you can – what behavior do you notice and what is the impact (on the team, on results, etc…)
    • Getting curious and helping them process the information

Any comments or stories to share? Have you ever been blinded by a blind spot? How did you work through it?

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Leadership and the Art of Car Racing

Posted in Emotional Intelligence, High Performance, Leadership, Learning, Self-Awareness, tagged , , , , , on April 16, 2012 | 4 Comments »

Last week I had some amazing conversations with leaders who have realized that to keep on top of their game… to have the impact that they want… they need to consistently hold the mirror up to their leadership. They know that leadership is a process, not a destination, and one that requires constant awareness, reflection, insight and change.

Now let’s be honest. Leaders often get to where they’re at because of a ruthless drive they have inside of them… a striving for excellence and success. And yet sometimes (okay, often!) this race to the top is often done with the elbows out and blinders on. The danger comes when leaders think that they’ve reached the top of their game because of this spirited, success-at-all-cost mentality, rather than realizing that success has likely come in spite of it.

In Marshall Goldsmith’s book “What Got You Here Won’t Get You There,” he states that the higher a leader gets in the organization, the more their problems are behavioral. In other words, the distinguishing factor of leaders at the top is that they bring awareness to their own behavioral liabilities, AND they make a commitment to getting better. Goldsmith says, “as we advance in our careers, behavioral changes are often the only significant changes we can make.” So, all other things being equal, the lesser leader is unwilling to address their own inter- and intra-personal challenges, often with a mindset that they’ve already arrived at their leadership destination.

I’m not saying to diminish or erase that deep internal drive that many leaders have – in fact, I find that quality of leadership admirable and powerful. I am saying that to have more of an impact, to be more of a leader, we need to have greater awareness about the impact we’re having – not only on results but also on the people around us. Results happen through people.

I once told a client that it’s a bit like the difference between racing a drag race and being in a Formula 1 race. In a drag race, you have a straight stretch of road, the focal point of a finish line being right in front of you. It’s foot down and haul ass to the finish. In Formula 1 racing, you are on a twisting and turning track with a bunch of other cars. Sometimes you need the gas; sometimes you need to strategically brake. You are always attuned to where the other drivers are around you, and you rely on your pit crew to keep you and your car at the top of your game. (**Disclaimer: not being a car racer myself, this is my own, perhaps naïve, interpretation! Forgive me Michael Schumacher.)

So to up your skills as a leader, take the blinders off. It might be bright and overwhelming at first, but with the right mindset it can be full of learning and reward.

Here are some things to try this week:

  • Ask for feedback from a peer, a direct report, and a boss. Don’t settle for generalities – ask for details and specifics… stay curious.
  • Set your own leadership goals. What is the impact you want to have in your time as a leader? What’s your aspiration?
  • Have your antenna up. Look for evidence (even subtle signals) that you are having the impact you want. Adjust and make change if not.
  • Find a thinking partner – a coach, an impartial friend… someone who can hold the mirror up for you and tell you the truth about your impact — good, bad and ugly.

Next week, we’ll dive into the common behavioral pitfalls that trap leaders. In the meantime – let’s hear from you: what’s the biggest behavioral change you’ve made as a leader, and what impact did it have?

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The Marble in A Field of Grass – Learning from Mistakes

Posted in Coaching, Leadership, Learning, tagged , , , , on April 10, 2012 | 6 Comments »

Have you ever had that icky feeling that comes when you know you’ve made a mistake? A beautiful concoction of anxiety, guilt, shame, humility and anger – at least this is typically what shows up in my cocktail. Mistakes happen – systems issues, process slips, political misjudgments, interpersonal breakdowns… And it’s never easy.

We hear it all the time: the best learning comes from mistakes. And when we fail to learn from mistakes, failure sets in. But trying to glean that learning is a bit like trying to find a marble in a field of grass that hasn’t been mowed in a month… when you’re IN it, it sucks.

Last week I made a mistake, an interpersonal mess actually, and I am reminded of how critical that moment is: once the realization hits that you could have and should have done something differently. This moment-in-time is the proverbial fork in the road. It’s the choice point between truly embracing a learner mindset or going straight downhill towards the sh*t-pit.

And let me tell you, the sh*t-pit is no fun. It’s filled with self-doubt, blame and shame – all mindsets that actually inhibit learning… so if we really want to glean the learning, it starts with giving yourself some grace… to be vulnerable and courageous enough to admit it, digest it and learn from it.

And what does this mean for leadership?

As a leader you have the ability to shape that learning moment for your employees. It’s also a choice point for you. Will you jump to blame or judgment, or will you pause and inquire to help facilitate the learning? (And, by the way, “Why did you do that?” isn’t true inquiry… it’s judgment disguised as a question!).

A miss I commonly see with leaders is not giving the time required to debrief mistakes… thinking that asking “what would you do differently next time?” is enough. To truly deepen the learning, and build competence and resilience, takes asking some powerful questions. These are questions that serve to deepen awareness and advance learning, questions like:

  • What is it like for you to have made this mistake?
  • What are the impacts – good and bad of having made this mistake?
  • Tell me about the learning you’re doing as a result of this mistake.
  • Where else might this learning relevant for you?

Mistakes can be a breeding ground for learning. It starts with getting curious and asking the right questions.

Where have you learned from mistakes? Any stories to share?

e-musings resource suggestion:

  • Change Your Questions, Change Your Life by Marilee Adams. This book highlights the power of bringing curiosity into relationships – with others and with yourself. Marilee’s method, called QuestionsThinking is a way to ask the right questions, leading to better results and better relationships.

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The Spider Moves Where the Spider Needs to Go

Posted in Coaching, High Performance, Leadership, Team, tagged , , , , on April 3, 2012 | Leave a Comment »

As a leader, have you ever felt like time stops when you’re not around? That your team can’t make a decision without you? That you’re mediating petty conflicts between team members more often than you’d like? For whatever reason, despite your “A” team you’re getting C/C+ results at best?

Then it’s time to pause and look at how you’re operating. Even though we resent it, there is something seductive and seemingly powerful about being the glue that holds the team together.

But the reality is, this hub and spoke model of leadership is getting old. And yet I still see many leaders operating this way – spending the bulk of their time in one-on-ones, trying to get the best from the individuals on their team, yet not realizing that this approach comes with downfalls when it comes to team performance.

With each person being lead individually, the focus on collective team effectiveness and accountability wanes. Not only does this model contribute to exhaustion on behalf of the leader, it also contributes to an erosion of trust between and among team members. Though you may be leading high performers, you likely aren’t leading a high performance team.

Katzenbach and Smith, in The Wisdom of Teams, talk about the individual vs. team focus: “Deeply engrained biases towards individual accountability and achievement reinforce the executive behavior patterns that run counter to team requirements. Teams at the top, like teams elsewhere, must develop a sense of mutual trust and interdependence.”

In extreme cases, that lack of mutual trust and interdependence can be devastating. Individual executives are reluctant to rely on anyone other than themselves for results. A subtle drive for individual high performance, often supported by one-on-one leadership from “the boss,” can turn to full-blown competition and cutthroat behavior amongst colleagues. Competition without a solid foundation of trust easily breeds contempt and can break a team. Not to mention the example that being set for the rest of the organization…

The good news is a new model has been emerging where the leader is less at the center, but moves freely to where he or she is needed, with the leadership focus shifting from the individual to the individual as team-member. Roll away hub and spoke… Enter “The Web” — a delicate weaving of relationships, results and shared accountability.

This leader is nimble in his approach – going where he is needed most: coaching, setting strategy, facilitating healthy debate, encouraging team dialogue, front-and-center with the customer. You get the picture.  While also seemingly pulled in multiple directions, this leader is intentional in where he spends his time — he knows when and where to get involved, in best service of the organization and the people. He develops the individuals and cultivates the team.

The other day I was talking to the head of an organization about Hub and Spoke vs. Web Leadership… He paused for a moment and offered this nugget of arachnid goodness: “the spider moves where the spider needs to go.” I couldn’t have said it better myself!

e-musings leadership tips:

  • Lead individuals AND the team. Focus on the inter-dependencies and relationships between and among team members.
  • Get out of the way. Enable your team to achieve success. Coach when needed, give feedback often, celebrate milestones and facilitate learning from mistakes.
  • Hold your team capable of solving problems, jump in only when absolutely necessary (this builds trust, increases capacity for problem solving, and gives you more brain space for strategic thought)
  • Be nimble. Lead others the way they need to be lead. Flex your style to get the most from your people, but be consistent in your expectations of the team.
  • Hold the team accountable for shared success.
  • Remember, it’s not what you expect, but what you inspect that counts. Set team incentives as well as individual incentives.

What tips do you have for cultivating team performance?

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